Saturday, August 4, 2007
An Open Letter To Ron Paul
Dear Dr. Paul,
Congratulations. As I'm sure you are aware, you're the only presidential candidate that I am yet to rag on. And I'd like to keep it that way, as I've never intended the Viralroots media empire to be just another second rate burn blog that rags on everyone for LOLs. See, ordinarily at this juncture, I would say something snarky and cruel in hopes that my dry humor lands me a new subscriber or two. But instead, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and write you a letter imploring you to see the error of your ways and do your best to fix them.
My specific grievances have to do with your videos in the YouTube YouChoose Spotlight. In the text of your first video, you proclaimed yourself the "Internet's BFF." And over the months I've published statistics that support that claim. The fact is, I'm not aware of any candidate ever achieving such a level of success through a viralroots campaign as you. Your accomplishments are truly remarkable. Which is why I'd like to make you aware of two major missteps in your YouChoose Spotlight and am humbly asking you to correct them:
A) Why on earth would you allow a vacuous-eyed meat-head fratboy to introduce all of your spotlight videos? I mean seriously. There's never gonna be a rEVOLution when your poster-child looks like you picked him up from a Campus Republicans meeting. I swear I saw him on HotChicksWithDoucheBags last week. I beg you to lose this guy.
B) As the Internet's BFF, what on earth would possess you to use chopped up clips from what looks like a CSPAN-2 BOOK TV interview for the YouChoose Spotlight? I'm really confused. It seems that while candidate after candidate botched their time in the YouChoose Spotlight, you were making creative videos and engaging YouTube better than anyone else. You spoke to James Kotecki in his dorm room. You called out Rudy Giuliani. You posted humorous and enlightening clips from TV personalities like Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. You did a fantastic interview with Google. In other words, you did everything right. And finally, it's your turn to really shine and you posted a bunch of recycled crap. You don't talk to the YouTube constituency. You don't ask questions. You don't answer questions. Nada. Please, for the sake of this new political age, I beg you Dr. Paul, fix this. Go back to what works. You're good at it. No. The best at it. So please: Own it.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Private Detective/C-List Blogger