Saturday, August 4, 2007

An Open Letter To Ron Paul

Dear Dr. Paul,

Congratulations. As I'm sure you are aware, you're the only presidential candidate that I am yet to rag on. And I'd like to keep it that way, as I've never intended the Viralroots media empire to be just another second rate burn blog that rags on everyone for LOLs. See, ordinarily at this juncture, I would say something snarky and cruel in hopes that my dry humor lands me a new subscriber or two. But instead, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and write you a letter imploring you to see the error of your ways and do your best to fix them.

My specific grievances have to do with your videos in the YouTube YouChoose Spotlight. In the text of your first video, you proclaimed yourself the "Internet's BFF." And over the months I've published statistics that support that claim. The fact is, I'm not aware of any candidate ever achieving such a level of success through a viralroots campaign as you. Your accomplishments are truly remarkable. Which is why I'd like to make you aware of two major missteps in your YouChoose Spotlight and am humbly asking you to correct them:

A) Why on earth would you allow a vacuous-eyed meat-head fratboy to introduce all of your spotlight videos? I mean seriously. There's never gonna be a rEVOLution when your poster-child looks like you picked him up from a Campus Republicans meeting. I swear I saw him on HotChicksWithDoucheBags last week. I beg you to lose this guy.

B) As the Internet's BFF, what on earth would possess you to use chopped up clips from what looks like a CSPAN-2 BOOK TV interview for the YouChoose Spotlight? I'm really confused. It seems that while candidate after candidate botched their time in the YouChoose Spotlight, you were making creative videos and engaging YouTube better than anyone else. You spoke to James Kotecki in his dorm room. You called out Rudy Giuliani. You posted humorous and enlightening clips from TV personalities like Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. You did a fantastic interview with Google. In other words, you did everything right. And finally, it's your turn to really shine and you posted a bunch of recycled crap. You don't talk to the YouTube constituency. You don't ask questions. You don't answer questions. Nada. Please, for the sake of this new political age, I beg you Dr. Paul, fix this. Go back to what works. You're good at it. No. The best at it. So please: Own it.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Warmest Regards,

Philip Marlowe
Private Detective/C-List Blogger


Mary said...

Agree with you completely, Phil. Ron is getting a fair amount of positive press on Democratic blogs, as well. I too, have yet to find a credible reason to "rag" on Ron. He has a good thing going...glad you are encouraging him to fine tune it.

Tex Macrae said...

Meathead? Jeez, that's Jesse Benton. Why do you hate Jesse?

philip marlowe said...

Haha. Tex, i'm just having fun. Obviously Mr. benton is a huge part of Dr. Paul's success. I just think it's so obvious that they've taken a less than desirable approach to the Spotlight (will you argue that?) and I wanted to rag on them a bit. So I guess i've finally ragged on everyone. btw, i'm flattered that youed call me out, Tex. I like your site. -marlowe

Tex Macrae said...

I've thought they've taken a less than desirable approach for several videos, but they're popular despite what I think, so who am I to argue with success? Maybe Ron Paul is right when he says that people are waking up and seeking information on liberty, hence the popularity of his message. The message sells itself without any additional frills like video editing and whatnot. I don't now. I know that practically everyone I read complained about the song "google Ron Paul" but that didn't keep the video from taking off like a rocket anyway.

I do like that they've taken to making videos about particular issues. I happened to meet Jesse last night and told him so. I guess I rushed to his defense because I liked him and "vacuous-eyed" is pretty harsh. He's really pretty sharp.

And thanks for the kind words about my blog. It's veered off its dedicated antiwar mission to support Ron Paul.

Mary said...

Sometimes less is more, for sure...especially when the message "sells itself"....Added 'stuff' can actually take away from the essence of what is trying to be conveyed. Though understand where you are coming from, Phil. Cool Tex,that you talked to Jesse....I'll have to check out your site.