Monday, March 24, 2008

Hillary Clinton Remembers Bosnia

Hey remember that time that Bosnia was like completely wartorn? They were like totally messed up. Major shitfest. Amd Hillary Clinton was like the First Lady and she was all about the world and helping people and shit so she got on a crappy little plane and she flew to Bosnia to touch Indians and shit and it was like totally fucked cuz she landed in the middle of the war and had to like dodge sniper fire and basically run for her life and she was almost killed and it totally blew. Oh wait. My bad. that never actually happened. Not Bosnia, she went there. But when she got off the plane. It was all chill and she kissed babies and then she watched Cheryl Crowe rock out and eat EZ'Mac and stuff. Ya, here, take a look. It's on video:

Friday, March 21, 2008

2007 YouTube Video Awards

When I picture all the aspiring filmmakers in all the world, first I picture like a billion people. Like, almost as many as the aspiring bloggers. And then, I picture all of their films. And again, there's like a billion of them. And let's say 10,000 of them end up on YouTube. And then, I picture a world where, of these thousands of short films, the very best one of the year is the Alzheimer's short. And finally, my brain explodes all over my desk.

And that concludes my coverage of the "Short Film" category.

Of the other 2007 YouTube Video Awards winners, I'm strangely a huge fan of the Laughing Baby. He tops the "Adorable" category.

From now on, when I say "we", I'm referring to the America's Funniest Home Video Generation.

I've invented a new category for the YouTube Video Awards. It's called "Best YouTube Prophet". The winner is Pastor James David Manning of the ATLAH Ministries. Below, he speaks affectionately of Barack Obama. And when I say affectionately, I mean not affectionately.

Sometimes, I underwhelm myself. And in conjunction with all the quaintness of the 2007 YouTube Video Awards, it's nap time.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

SHOCKER: Web 2.0 Isn't Relevant for the Masses

I thought this was sorta obvious by now since Ron Paul is clearly not going to be our next president. But anyway, Charlene Li says "Web 2.0 Isn't relevant for the vast majority of people." There's so much focus in social networking on games and little cutesy apps and not a lot on ways of making and saving money. For most people, especially older people, there's no practical reason to go on Facebook. Hell, I'm in my twenties and I don't really understand Facebook. That might have more to do with the fact that I hate people, but still.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Why Nobody Actually Gives A Shit About Jeremiah Wright

Last night, Marlowe Senior and I had an interesting discussion about Jeremiah Wright. He was saying that Barack Obama could always denounce and live down the false rumors of antisemitism and antiwhiteyism, but now that video of Jeremiah Wright has hit the mainstream media, the message and the visuals are too visceral to ever shake. I respectfully disagreed. And this is all moot because, as you all know, I think McCain will ultimately win, but it's worth talking about. The next time you have 45 minutes to have your mind blown, I suggest you watch FRONTLINE: Karl Rove - The Architect. It's amazing. And it explains the notion of THE BASE really well. And them godless Democrats have no Base. Obama doesn't have a Base. Neither does Hillary. All that said, McCain really doesn't either unless you count the Vets, but we'll talk about that when the Primaries are done. The point is, the Democrats have made it pretty clear that this is just a pissing contest. Whoever fills up a gallon jug labeled "change" first wins. Ideology need not apply. It's useful, but unnecessary. And let's not forget that at the end of the day we're still talking about Liberals. Liberals love the Palestinians. Liberals love Black plight. And Liberals will ultimately let Obama live down any connection to the lunatic featured in the below videos. So, here's Reverend Jeremiah Wright screaming about white America, Barack Obama as an underprivileged child, AmeriKKK (get it?), and evil Israel. Get it while it's hot, because in three weeks from now, I highly doubt anyone will recall Obama having an affiliation with this man.



Thursday, March 13, 2008

RED PHONE WARS EPISODE VI

RETURN OF THE DIGITAL SHORT

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Red Phone Wars Starring Hillary Clinton And Barack Obama

IN A WORLD
WHERE THE BALANCE
OF THE WORLD
DEPENDS ON A PRESIDENT
A RED PHONE
AND THE PURITY AND ESSENCE OF OUR NATURAL FLUIDS

HE/SHE
WHO CONTROLS THE RED PHONE
CONTROLS THE WORLD


RED PHONE WARS


RED PHONE WARS EPISODE IV: A REALLY OLD DRIED UP HOPE


RED PHONE WARS EPISODE V: THE BLACK MAN STRIKES BACK



TO BE CONTINUED...?