Thursday, July 17, 2008

New Jib Jab Video

In theory, this is supposed to be a blog and I'm supposed to update it from time to time. More specifically, it's helpful when my posts are on topic and keep you abreast of the latest in viral videos and media. Even more specifically, said posts best serve the reader if they pertain to how viral media is effecting the first presidential election of a mature internet age. All of that said, below is the latest Jib Jab video that's taking this series of tubes by storm. So, watch and enjoy, if you're so inclined. If not, scroll below it find a rant by yours truly.

A Rant.
by Philip Marlowe

People of the United States: Don't you know you are fucking dumb? Governments that buy banks are called socialist. Republicans that support opening our borders and offering amnesty to illegal immigrants are called hippies. Regulatory boards that lower interest rates to 2.25% are called fucking stupid. Don't you people know that the market dictates lending rates and when such equilibrium is undermined by the government, the result is diluted currency and consumer inflation? If your life savings is not currently under your mattress in Aussie dollars, god help you. Yesterday, I somehow found myself in conversations with four different people who closed out their Washington Mutual bank accounts. Four! Oh, and here's my point: I don't feel pity or sorrow for any of you piggies! I turn on the radio. I turn on the local news. And I hear stories about families having to choose between gassing up their SUVs or putting food on their table. I hear stories of people driving 30 miles to Mexico to gas their cars with Saudi drilled, American refined, Mexican subsidized, sub-standard fuel. And you're all fucking morons. If you live so above your means that a mere tremor in the price of goods sends you hurdling over the edge, you probably should have been aborted. And if you live that way and decided it was a good idea to start a family, have children, then you definitely should have been aborted. These are tough times. I get it. But part of being a grown-up requires anticipation and vigilance. I believe they call that "planning ahead". History has taught us time after time that, contrary to popular belief, there is not always joy in Mudville. Sometimes, jetliners crash into skyscrapers. Sometimes, Multinational corporations lie on income statements to shareholders. And the beat goes on. So in conclusion, if I see another fat piggie from Palmdale tell a hot Asian reporter that she had to buy gas instead of eggs this week, I'm gonna blow my brains out.


Anonymous said...

I agree...we are a nation of self-centered, selfish people who are spoiled brats (stupid)...maybe if we park our SUVs.... walk a bit more... our brain cells might regenerate due to a better oxygen flow and we may think a bit more clearly and reasonably....? Maybe...don't hold your breath. Planning ahead you say, Phil...too many Americans live in the to meet their own shallow needs. Remember there is a huge difference between needs and wants....we NEED to get back to the needs side of life and stop fucking around. Mary

philip marlowe said...

Hey Mary. Thanks for your thoughts on the post... and for not calling me a right-wing wacko. cuz you know i'm not. I prefer "realist." -Marlowe

Anonymous said...

You are welcome, Phil...and yes, I know you are not a right-wing wacko....I have been reading your stuff for quite some time now and so have more of a sense of your history and how you think than some of your newer and/or inconsistent readers....there is a lot of frustration out there...but I see this as a good thing, because it is when people get fed up that meaningful work/solutions start to come to the fore. I prefer "realist" too. As you know I am an Independent at heart and in my thinking...and am no left-wing wacko. ~ Mary