Viral Video Of The Week

Duh, Homer Simpson Tries To Vote For Obama.

Below is a rant. And not even a good one. So if that doesn't float your boat, just watch the Simpsons video and move on.

I've been an absent leader this week. I just recently discovered that I have a day job. So I'm gonna make up for it by just saying a bunch of random shit right now.

Firstly, everyone is insane.

I love that Sarah Palin won last night's debate simply because she survived. I'm sick and tired of feminists bitching about glass ceilings, but god forbid Joe Biden raise his voice to a girl.

Anyone who can even pretend that Palin is ready for DC or adds something to the ticket is entirely delusional. It's not even a discussion. It's simple physics. There's not an industry in the world that would hire someone this unprepared to be their CEO's backup. Arguing otherwise is like saying you can flap your arms and fly to the moon.

By the way, if I ever found myself having a conversation with someone that speaks and gestures and behaves the way she does, I'd probably blow my brains out. Could you imagine asking someone questions that consistently either answers different questions or doesn't answer at all? If she's VP, there might be heads of state slitting their wrists in meetings.

Maybe I'm an asshole because I'm from a big city, but it seriously blows my mind that anyone of this personality type can tie their shoes, yet alone make it into the public spotlight. I've only seen people like this in the movie FARGO and on the show Ice Road Truckers. God help these people.

I could just keep on posting links to the Katie Couric interview etc, but PETA says I can no longer beat dead horses.

Senator McCain: Congratulations, you blew it. And I wait with baited breath for you to "make famous" those responsible for the billions of dollars in pork attached to this bailout bill that you voted for. At least you were neither "absent" nor "present" this time.

I could go into our downward spiral towards socialism and rip into Obama and talk about how Schwarzenegger threw us Californians under the bus, but this has been exhausting. I'll save all that for another time.

New Jib Jab Video

In theory, this is supposed to be a blog and I'm supposed to update it from time to time. More specifically, it's helpful when my posts are on topic and keep you abreast of the latest in viral videos and media. Even more specifically, said posts best serve the reader if they pertain to how viral media is effecting the first presidential election of a mature internet age. All of that said, below is the latest Jib Jab video that's taking this series of tubes by storm. So, watch and enjoy, if you're so inclined. If not, scroll below it find a rant by yours truly.



A Rant.
by Philip Marlowe

People of the United States: Don't you know you are fucking dumb? Governments that buy banks are called socialist. Republicans that support opening our borders and offering amnesty to illegal immigrants are called hippies. Regulatory boards that lower interest rates to 2.25% are called fucking stupid. Don't you people know that the market dictates lending rates and when such equilibrium is undermined by the government, the result is diluted currency and consumer inflation? If your life savings is not currently under your mattress in Aussie dollars, god help you. Yesterday, I somehow found myself in conversations with four different people who closed out their Washington Mutual bank accounts. Four! Oh, and here's my point: I don't feel pity or sorrow for any of you piggies! I turn on the radio. I turn on the local news. And I hear stories about families having to choose between gassing up their SUVs or putting food on their table. I hear stories of people driving 30 miles to Mexico to gas their cars with Saudi drilled, American refined, Mexican subsidized, sub-standard fuel. And you're all fucking morons. If you live so above your means that a mere tremor in the price of goods sends you hurdling over the edge, you probably should have been aborted. And if you live that way and decided it was a good idea to start a family, have children, then you definitely should have been aborted. These are tough times. I get it. But part of being a grown-up requires anticipation and vigilance. I believe they call that "planning ahead". History has taught us time after time that, contrary to popular belief, there is not always joy in Mudville. Sometimes, jetliners crash into skyscrapers. Sometimes, Multinational corporations lie on income statements to shareholders. And the beat goes on. So in conclusion, if I see another fat piggie from Palmdale tell a hot Asian reporter that she had to buy gas instead of eggs this week, I'm gonna blow my brains out.